First remember that ‘bad’ is a subjective word and what you think is ‘bad’ may, or may not be. If we’re not going to play the ‘blame game’ we could try substituting ‘bad’ for ‘irresponsible’ or ‘unacceptable’.

So, supposing their behaviour is unacceptable or irresponsible, try and remember that it’s their job to question your authority at this time. They are still growing and developing and that includes their brain, which will keep growing and developing until they’re 26. This might be a possible reason why one study showed the average age of children leaving home was 28 (see ‘How to parent adult children still living at home’).

As a consequence of us not having any ‘Rites of Passage’ or ‘Rituals’ for the transition to adulthood, we have invented the ‘Teenager’, a kind of ‘no person’s land’ where young people, having no template to follow, have made up their own – for better or worse. Also let’s remember the agony of our own ‘between years’ of raging hormones and pimples. ‘It ain’t easy’ on either side, but being the parent means having the responsibility of guiding your children (as best you can) into adulthood while not ‘crowding’ them, but giving them enough rules and boundaries to push against so that they can individuate and become independent. Some or all of the following might be helpful ...

What are you stressing about?

1. Getting back to study

Remember what’s worked for you in the past and make a list to remind you now. For new students, try and get into a routine that works for you and stick to it.

Choose a study place and set it up to suit you with all your study materials organised so you can easily find stuff.  When you settle down in your study place it’s much easier to get into study mode.

2. Not coping with the material

If you’re floundering with the material and feeling overwhelmed, identify the key areas where you’re not keeping up and either allocate more study time to those areas or ask for extra help from teachers, parents and maybe even a short period of tutoring. Sometimes peer tutoring works for short periods of time (that’s asking a fellow student who’s breezing through the stuff you’re struggling with and getting them to help out to get you on track).

Young people are leaving home later and later in the new millennium. The number of young people still living at home has grown by a whopping 50% since the late 80’s according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which also says that; a third of young people over 20 still live at home; more than half had tried moving out of home but didn’t like it; and when they do move out it’s not for long. Before you can say “Freedom!” they’re back again. Currently the average age young people move out is 28.

Many parents don’t mind their children living at home but find fights often break out over boundary and contribution issues. Instead of their young adults being a pleasure they’re a pain!

So what can parents do to address some of the more common issues that arise? For example them taking responsibility for their everyday lives, who pays for what, household and garden upkeep, use of family equipment such as the family car, sex, and drugs (including alcohol and tobacco).